Rob Scuderi doesn’t understand how to eat marshmallows
Rob Scuderi doesn’t understand how to eat marshmallows. Normally you would expect hockey players to know that marshmallows are an edible form of food ingested through the mouth. This picture suggests otherwise, it’s a sad state of affairs when your top free agent signing gets confused at little things like this.
Next thing you know the puck will be dipped in milk and attempts to lick the center out will be met with confusion and despair for the poor d-man.
Mamma Ovechkin Get’s Sassy
Apparently a precedence was set for the NHL when the ancient Greeks in 776 B.C. When they held an Olympic truce during their wars to hold the games. NHL games can sometimes resemble a war zone after some good ole’ fashion fisticuffs. Mama Ovechkin announced today:
“How can [commissioner Gary] Bettman not let them play?” Tatyana, herself a member of two gold-medal winning Russian basketball teams at the Olympics, Doesn’t he understand what Olympics are? Let him read books. Let him study history. They stopped wars in ancient Greece for the Olympics. Wars. And he can’t stop his league for two weeks? This is nonsense.”
Well I guess with Brashear gone in Washington, someone has to start sticking up for Alexander the Great. On that topic the original Alexander The Great was Greek and conquered land in Europe, no? I wonder what he would have to say about this. He’d probably stop his fighting and hit Bettman from behind, because you know Greeks tend to like that.
Crap Factory Of The Night: Roberto Luongo
Tonight recipient of the crap factory of the night award belongs to Roberto Luongo. The Columbus Blue Jacket player in the above picture keeled over from the smell of Luongo’s new award.
3 goals in about 3 minutes, sure bodes well for his Olympic chances. His saving grace so far, is that the 2 other front runners for the Olympic net-minder job for team Canada also are playing disgustingly awful. Martin Brodeur who is a loser in his own right has 2 losses and a 4.03 goals against average and Cam Ward who is a loser for having a worse record than Brodeur at 2 losses and 4.04 goals against average.
If early play is going to be an indicator of who makes the Canadian team for Yzerman and company then I guess Ray Emery and Carey Price are the front runners now. Isn’t that great? Both goalies were not good enough to be considered NHL caliber last year. One’s a cracked egg and the other is a faberge egg.
Oh No! It Happened Again!
It happened again, a new season of hockey. Let us bow our heads in shame for the filth we are about to write and embark upon. God save us all!
F. Me & The NHL
Great, I pick the perfect day to relaunch…
Day 3 of the NHL 2009/2010 season and there are NO FUCKING GAMES! What will I write about?
This reminds me of the time I put my jockstrap on and it broke, so I grabbed my used backup jockstrap out of my bag and slapped in on, only to have it break. The rink store only had jockstraps that were $90.00 Canadian. I feel that kind of futility…
On another note, The Leafs have not won a game yet, so that makes me happier. Yeah I know it’s only 2 games, I’m cheap like that. I get my kicks where I can.
