2007-11-17
You've heard it before, the huge announcements that shock you to your core, Jaques Demers can't read, Saku Kouivu can't speak French, Dan Cloutier can't stop pucks. You heard it here first Radek Bonk can't skate!
Thinking back to his younger years in the NHL, we were so cultivated by his incredible mullet, that we never noticed his inability to skate. Just recently Bonk, skated with all his might to the opposing end of the ice. Unfortunately for him he forgot the boards were behind the net and skated smack dab into them.
In the past Radek, felt the fans were laughing at his mullet and wasn't too offended. Have you ever seen a person with a mullet get offended by the snickers? These damned people would get prouder and prouder of their American tradition. This time with hurt pride Radek peeled himself from the ice and hung his head in shame. It was time to speak the truth to the loyal fans of his who have no idea what is going on.
Radek is sorry to pull wool over everyones eyes and hopes he can rely on the support of his fans in this troubling time as he learns the basics of skating. Luckily in Nashville they have a lot of empty skating classes for tots. Godspeed Radek, Godspeed...
