Oft fat and benched center-man, formerly of the Toronto Maple Laffs and the Vancouver Canucks has signed a one year contract with the St. Louis Blues.

Not one to be deterred, ever. Former Blue’s player Keith Tkachuk has challenged Wellwood to a hot dog eating contest. “When someone comes into your territory and challenges your livelihood, as a man you don’t back down” said Tkachuk at the local hamburger joint drive-through window.

Wellwood, who is flying over the Atlantic could not be reached for comment. However an American Airlines representative has let it be known that they have run out of on flight peanuts on their Russia to America flight.

The Canadian restaurant chain Tim Horton’s has been rumored to be presenting their own custom Toronto Maple Leafs donuts.

A spokesperson for the restaurant was quoted in saying that the donuts will embody all that is the Toronto Maple Leafs hockey club.

Sources from the inside say that the planned donuts are: “Too small, has a hole in the middle and sucks“.